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Sunday, May 18, 2008

My Good Twin and Damn That Bad Twin

Our egos can get us into more trouble. That part of us that separates us from the plant, insect, and animal world and makes us superior, also causes us a lot of heartache. I have a friend that is always saying, “I have a good twin and a bad twin. Damn that bad twin! She gets me into more trouble.”

I think we all have a good twin and a bad twin, don’t you. Albeit we see and experience one of those twins more than the other. Some people are black with anger, hatred, envy, and others are consumed in love, friendliness and compassion. Sometimes tipping too far one way or the other is not good for us, or the people around us.

I for one hate anger, and hate, hate for that matter. I see it as a horrible weakness in people. On the rare occasions when I allow myself to feel it, it starts a chain reaction inside of me. I get angry, then I’m angry at myself for allowing myself to get angry, and then I get even angrier at the situation that I allowed to create that emotion within me, in the first place. Say that three times real fast.

Today was one of those occasions. I let another blogger get under my skin, and I spouted off back at them, and now I am ashamed of myself for giving them my power, which is what they were after to begin with. Some people just love to suck up all the power from those around them, because they have used all theirs up on their own pettiness.

I’m about to win the “unpopularity” contest, but here goes anyway.

I understand that I have to go out and promote my blog if I want to generate any kind of traffic my way so, like everyone else, I join chosen social networking sites, and list in directories. I both love and dislike this. On one hand, I love to read, and learn and I am a researchaholic, and blogs are fabulous for this. So many are filled with a wonderful atmosphere and information, and I enjoy seeking them out. On the other hand, these sites take a lot of work, and you end up visiting a lot of places you really don’t want to, just to spread the word around, which comes hand in hand with networking. Just a part of one of those many games of life, we all have to deal with to become successful at anything, including friendships. The good outweighs the bad in the end.

The cyber world is chock full of places to join for free where you can spread the word about yourself and your site. They are free because they work on the concept of coming there often to visit other people’s sites, which generates a lot of traffic bringing their Google ratings up, and hopefully you will click on their ads that are placed there along the way. Scratch my back, and I’ll scratch yours.

They are little communities within a community, just like the different neighborhoods, or an organization or association that you might join in the outside world. Don’t forget, they are filled with all those personalities that you experience in life. As such, they are filled with the same types of activity. You have the Government, which is the site owner who makes up all the rules; Then you have the site police that have, in this case, self appointed themselves to be familiarized with the Terms of Service, and to direct the other people on how they have decided you should behave, according to their own rules; you have your teachers that use their knowledge to help you and teach you the ropes; and then you have the rest who join for various reasons, that doesn’t just include site promotion.

The person that I allowed to get under my skin is a member of one of these communities, and they spend a good part of their day visiting as many sites as possible, because they want to be number one in this community. This site works on the concept of the more sites you visit from within, the further up the ranking you go. This person couldn’t possible spend more than a second or two in any site that they visit, in order to go to 300 or more sites a day. They just scurry around from place to place hunting for the widget you have to click on in each members site, so that the site can track how many places you have been, which by the way those that are all fighting over the number one spot, are quick to let everyone know that you should put this widget above the fold, which means that you do not have to scroll at all to get to it. It is one of the first things that you see. After all, they don’t have the time to actually look at the site to find it in any way. They don’t have the time for such nonsense.

Everyone has there different things that appeal to them, that don’t necessarily appeal to others. A blog has a personality, and is a very personal place, much like your home, purse, a secret lockbox that you stow away all your meaningful treasures. Even though many of us bloggers use them to bring in a little extra cash, it still is a very special space that you fill with your passions, and the things that appeal to you. You share with the world, or anyone that is at all interested, your knowledge, artwork, or what is in your heart. Many blogs paint the most perfect picture of the person sitting in that chair in front of their computer creating it. Without even looking at the bio, many times you can tell whether the person is a man or a woman, how intelligent they are, a lot of times what age group they fall into, and most of the time what their outlook is on life.

This particular person visited one of my blogs. On this blog I play music. I understand that there are many people that don’t particularly care for music on someone’s site, and we all have our different tastes in music, just like everything else. But on this blog, which I am the Government of by the way, I like it, and I think that it contributes to the mood that I am trying to create there. According to the statcounter that I use on this site, I have many return visitors to that spot, and I have been left many messages from people who love the atmosphere, and the music. Many even tell me they stay or didn’t want to leave because of it.

On the flip side, there are those few, yes few, that leave me messages that they don’t like my choice of music. But this particular person was actually pissed at me for having it and proceeded to chew me out because of it. After all, when you are at work getting paid to sneak around trying to become number one in your little community, rather than doing what you are getting paid for…you don’t want to get caught. So they proceeded to tell me that they had three other sites, and I got them on one, but I would not be graced with their royal anus with the others, and continued to tell me I needed to remove it here and now. I can’t help but wonder if they actually believed that I was going to abide by their self appointed rules to my site, and obediently do as I was instructed. Possibly they thought they would hurt me in some way because out of the millions upon millions of people out there in cyber world, I would not be visited by their four sites they were so proud of, or that I would crawl into the closet in the fetal position in total shame for my misconduct.

Needless to say, my bad twin unleashed itself and reared it’s ugly head, and I proceeded to instruct this person to take their four sites and stick them and their over-sized nose up that royal anus of theirs, and that they needed to scurry that ass on out of my site because I wouldn’t want the door that I was slamming in their face, to hit them in that ass on the way out.

Okay, okay, I know, “the customer is always right, and should be treated with respect.” Now I am faced with the personal need to apologize. Not that I want their forgiveness, or condone their behavior in any way, or want them back, but because I need to forgive myself for my own behavior and conduct. I am faced with that little battle inside I described earlier…that you will never be able to say three times real fast. I went against my own principles and now I am ashamed of myself because of it.

So cyber world, and all you people that come to my site, my home, my little box filled with all my little treasures, and a part of my heart…I apologize.

Damn that bad twin!

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1 Love note(s):

janeser28 said...

thanks for visiting my blog:-)
Your post are so touching:-)
I love to read this kind of blog because it is really true.It is us so give anger to ourself and it is us who control it.If it is ok for you can we xlink?So that it will be easy for me to read your blog:-)It really helps me a lot.Now i realize that i need to control more my anger and give more love.


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