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Friday, November 28, 2008

Looking For Love In All The Wrong Places

We are conceived through a connection, of the deepest kind, between a man and a woman, and from the moment that we are conceived, we are connected to our Mother in her womb. When that physical connection we began with is separated at birth, we spend our lives desiring to be connected again. How we go about, and how well we succeed, at re-creating that connection…becomes the story of our lives.

There is a saying that states; men will use love to get sex, and that women will use sex to get love. Men are wired to easily separate their feelings from sex, and can engage in sex with a woman for the pure pleasure of the sensations. Not that a woman is incapable and won’t do the same thing, however, this is very hard for a woman. Most women, or at least this used to be the case, have a hard time of separating their emotions and sex. Sex for a woman is an expression of her feelings, or a search for love, and a connection. So many times woman will sleep with a man, in hopes that he will now love her. It just does not work that way.

When I venture out for a few drinks at a bar, I love to sit and observe all the people around me. I see so many women so willing to give up their dignity to the first man that will pay them any attention, and then leave with them for a night filled romp in the hay. The same women are back again the next night, to do the same with the next guy. I have even witnessed, time and time again, when the bar is closing, and the lights come on, if they haven’t hooked up for the night, for them to desperately seek someone out the few remaining men…in one last attempt not to sleep alone. What they are so desperately looking for, is someone to love them, but then wonder why they are still alone. Asking themselves, “What is wrong with me?” And their self-esteem and confidence is only further shattered with each new exploit.

There are also many women that will easily allow themselves to become the “friends with benefits”, in hopes that he will realize what a wonderful catch she is, only to later, wonder why the man so easily can move on to another woman, when he is ready for a relationship. “Why her, and not me”, they find themselves asking. Many times he has made it quite clear that he is not looking for a relationship with them, only friendship. However, she has still shown that she is more than willing to share the most intimate part of herself with him anyway. She has been more than willing to stroke his ego and his penis, without requiring anything of quality in return. She has already shown him that she does not expect that quality and commitment, so why should he give it to her now?

Women that go out with a man and bed a man that is taken, whether married or otherwise, is as much a cheater as he is, and clearly places no value on the sanctity of a commitment, union, and relationship between two people. So how is it that these same women agonize over the fact these same men will not leave their wives for them? She has already shown that she places no value on a commitment, and is more than ready and willing to cheat. Statistics clearly show, out of the men that do leaves their wives, only 10% end up marrying, or having a long term relationship with, the woman they have been cheating with.

What these women don’t seem to realize, is a man will easily sleep with them, because they can. But when they are looking for someone to become “the One”, they want a quality woman that thinks enough of herself, to be selective about the man that she is willing to share herself with. He wants to know that he is special, and has won over her heart and body. Not that he is one of many.

For a man to feel attraction toward you, he has to see value, and much of the value he sees in you, is the value that you place on yourself. They need to know that you love and trust yourself, so that they can also trust you. There is nothing more attractive than seeing a person that places value and worth on themselves, by being selective.

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17 Love note(s):

Maithri said...

Intelligent and wise words,

Peace and light,


Lea said...

It's really sad to see and I find it mind boggling that so many women still have a sense of desperation where men and love are concerned.

You brought up some very good points. I hope women who need to take notice, will.

Have a great weekend!

Shadow said...

brilliantly written!

Akirah said...

As my friend says, "Don't no man want to marry a floozy."

yolanda said...

thanks so much for this post. i agree with everything you said. please check out my blog if you get the chance, i think you may enjoy it a lot:-)



Paula said...

What a great post. Why do some women give men that kind of power over them! It is so demeaning to put themselves in such a situation because of a desperate need for attention and affection, it is really sad.

email readings said...

Thanks for your post, honestly, I have been trying to look for love and at the same time get away from one (I don't mean run away from a girl or a relationship) thanks for the great article

The Other Woman said...

Great post with lots of insight.

Mikko Kemppe said...

I agree, it is hard for anyone else to respect you unless you respect your-self. As a women the more you learn to respect yourself and your wants and wishes the more you actually also teach all of the men out there in the world a very valuable lesson on how also to respect you.

I thank those women in my life that has thought me to respect them more. And I want to thank you for sharing your light and love to teach other women to do the same.

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psychic reading said...

Love is a most important topic, and I am happy you address this. The information is most accurate, and being vulnerable in one's feelings is a part of it.

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