All over the internet, you find articles revolving around attraction; what creates attraction, how to draw attraction, the bodies chemical reaction to attraction, and the law of attraction. We all have certain things that we find attractive in the opposite sex (or same sex, if that is what you are in to), and a "type", we are drawn to.
I was reading a couple of articles that really caught my attention, that basically were delivering the same message. The topic revolves around women, and men, who have one failed relationship after the other, continually finding themselves involved with people who treat them just as bad as the person before, always being attracted to the same "type". The same people then wonder why they are always getting hurt, and proclaim that all the good men/women are taken. We have all heard the saying that the definition of insanity, is doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result, but it appears that so many of us, are in fact insane, if that statement is true. Pick the same type, get hurt, go find the same type, get hurt, always hoping that this time will be different from the last...round and round the merry-go-round.
So many times we aren't even conscious that we are doing it. We meet someone, and feel that "chemistry" or attraction, and we are already half-way down the road to the next dead-end. In the article, "From Connection to Passion ", by Rori, states,
You’ll instinctively push away any man who’s emotionally available and
pine after a man who isn’t. In other words, you’re attraction to a man
who will hurt you is stronger than any other consideration.
How true this is so many times. We don't feel that attraction right away, so we classify them as only friends, or dismiss them altogether, because we are drawn to that "type", even though that "type" is not good for us.
I was reading another article the other day (can't find it again anywhere), where the woman had been pinning over a man that was not good for her, and hurt her, and when another wonderful man came along that she was not attracted to, she would only have him as a friend. To make a long story short, she ended up marrying him, and stated that during her wedding she looked into his eyes thinking, "but he's not my "type", and now fifteen years later she couldn't be happier.
The third article, "Do The Opposite", by: David Wygant, on MatchMatrix, he starts out by talking about George Costanza, on "Sienfeld", decides that he his life is the opposite of everything he wants it to be, and so he starts doing the opposite, and his whole life changes. He states,
To get what you've never had, you have to do what you've never done.
You need to change your routine up and do the opposite, because doing
things the way you've always done them is going to continue to get you
the same unsatisfying results. I don't want any of you to ever, like
George, think “My life is the opposite of everything I want it to be.”
All people are drawn to what is familiar to them, and resist change. It feels comfortable to us, whether it is good or bad. So when we meet someone that fits the same profile as before, we are attracted to that "type". Being that, that type is really wrong for us, that attraction is really a lie.
There are numerous authors, experts, and the like that believe we begin forming the emotional blueprint in our subconscious for our future partner at birth, based on the those people that are nearest and dearest to us...our parents. Even more precisely, our opposite gender parent...no matter how good or bad...warts and all. We are born, and continue to form emotional needs, and as children some of those needs are not met. So when we begin to look for our partner in life, we are drawn to those people like a magnet, who possess the same character flaws as our parents, in hopes we can somehow have those unmet needs met, and satisfied by our spouse.
The moral of the story is: When you go out and are immediately attracted to someone, especially if you have a history of bad, dead-end relationships, to take a step back and look a little closer. On the opposite token, when we meet someone and don't form that instant attraction, maybe we should take a step back and look a little closer. Our attraction radar just may be broken.
All the more reason why we should spend more time with someone without rushing into deciding they are "The One", and get to know them better.
It's time for change. Time to step out of your comfort zone.
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