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Sunday, May 24, 2009

How Will We Love?

Here is a video that I found and really enjoyed. It is quite long, but I found it well worth the watch.

Although there were many good things said throughout the video, one of the speakers, Dr. Harville Hendrix said some things that really spoke to me.

He was talking about how we go through stages in our marriages, one of them being the power play stage, which is where so many couples get into trouble, and give up, and he said:

"You stay when it's the worst, because it's when it gets really bad that's when it's going to change, but that's when most people leave. So they never get to the change. Go into a relationship and shut the gate, and say to yourself, 'I'm going to hang in here until we are each others healer.'"

He also stated;

There have been many, many studies of sexuality in which sex becomes better with commitment, and it's not as good with couples who are married, but are still uncertain about whether or not they are going to stay together. There is something about that, that makes it satisfactory, makes it maybe a discharge, or somehow sub-nurturing, but not rich, and deep, and spiritual. When couples solidify their marriages their sexuality deepens, and improves, and everything gets better with stability, and safety creates passion that you just can't have, until you have stability and safety.

Grab a cup of coffee, or maybe a bowl of popcorn, and enjoy.
How Will We Love

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4 Love note(s):

Chelle said...

I really have to agree with the staying through the worst, because that's what will help make it change and usually better and stronger before then...a lot of couples miss out on what could be a perfect blissful relationship because rather than stick through it and work it out they instead run and try to find love somewhere else, only again to fall into the cycle all over again!

Nelia said...

How many times, in the midst of a particularly juicy disagreement, have I asked myself, "How can I heal Hank?" as opposed to "How can I win this argument?"

0.

But the former seems infinitely more loving and effective.

Thanks for the insight. I'll put it to good use.

Tee aka The Diva's Thoughts said...

So many truths in that video!! Wow! Great post.

Cameron B Sharpe said...

(The much anticipated love!) Most people experience this type of love many times in their life. It is when you see that person for the first time and he/she makes your knees go weak or gives you butterflies in your stomach.i.e. "Love at first sight”. Most people don’t even love the person they think they are in love with…they fall in love with the idea if being in love. This is more of a lustful kind of love, it wears off after a while and hopefully leads to…

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