A Letter to My Bestfriend,
From the time I was a little girl I have always wanted the same thing as what I am looking for now.
I have always wanted a home and a family. Not bunches of children running around necessarily, but the love that I believed made up a family, and all it took was TWO. It could be more, but the TWO was the main ingredient.
THE TWO. The team…the undeniable, incomprehensible, impenetrable, TWO…A man and A woman. The man and A woman, the team, that no man or woman could ever come between. A man and A woman, the team, that would always work together to find the solution to all the problems that crop up. A man and A woman, the team, that would always be there for the other when they fall to extend a helping hand, or just be there to console the other. A man and A woman, the team, that would always be there for each other, to help the other succeed, and be the best that they can be.
Ever since I can remember, remembering…that is what I have always searched endlessly for.
When I finally thought I had met someone that wanted to be part of the TEAM, I had lived my life compensating, giving up my soul, attempting to find all the peace and the things I longed for within myself, but there was always a missing piece, a hunger I could not fill alone.
When I met you, you pulled out my emotions. Emotions that I had spend my life learning and perfecting at holding at bay… emotions that brewed within me, and were aching to come out. YOU caused me to feel. YOU brought them out of me. The dam that held them at bay all those years exploded.
It scared me to death, it brought out feelings I had forgotten how to feel, and some I had never felt. It overwhelmed me, they controlled me, I could not seem to control them. I cannot begin to explain. But somehow, deep inside, I believe you understand what I am saying. You too have hidden. You too felt what I felt. I know you did. I saw it. I felt it.
It scared you as much as it scared me. I am not the only one who was so frightened that they ran. Ran to whatever felt more recognizable, no matter how destructive that was. Somehow the destruction felt more familiar than the love, home and the team I longed for all my life, but always had somehow evaded me…until you came into my life.
I have searched for you all my life. and like Cinderella, the shoe fit. Like Sleeping Beauty, a part of me that I thought had gone to sleep, but more accurately had died, came awake! I cannot so easily let it fall back to sleep, or die.
Several men, since then have offered me their glass slipper, and some have even so much as begged, tried to buy, argue and insisted, but even though they have made me feel desirable, somehow the slipper they offer does not fit.
You hold my glass slipper.
You are more than my friend, you are my bestfriend!
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Friday, November 14, 2008
A Letter to My Bestfriend,