We play with Barbie’s and Ken as children, which supplies us with lifelike dolls that we can live out our dreams and fantasies through, and we grow up with fairy tales, where the handsome Prince comes and saves the sweet, loving damsel from those that are evil, and want to destroy her, and her goodness. Then we grow up, and we hold on to those dreams and fantasies, waiting for our Prince to come, and magically kiss away all the badness in our lives, so we can ride off to his castle, or into the sunset, and live happily ever after.
Then we grow up, and even though we logically know that those fairytales are never going to come true, at least not as flawlessly as they were imagined, we still hold onto those dreams and illusions in our hearts.
So few of us find anything close to those dreams in our relationships. Some of us pop from one relationship to the other, because the person can’t live up to the fantasy that we have created for ourselves, and we don’t want to feel we are settling. Others of us, go from one emotionally unavailable, and commitment phobic, or abusive man to another, leaving a long dusty trail of heartache that continues to pile up the emotional baggage on our soul.
All through it all, we hold on to some belief that somehow we made a wrong turn, and headed down the wrong path, when in actuality, out of all the endless possibilities, that was the exact turn we meant to make all along. If there was not a lesson, which would lead us to growth, we would not have made the mistake to begin with. But each day brings a new beginning, and we can always change routes, and make a different turn, anytime we choose.
The optical illusion of consciousness is something we all should be aware of, either with ourselves and others, and understand that our realities, becomes a reflection of our illusions. Marc Collins
So one thing that we must always remember is that these people and relationships came into our lives to teach us about ourselves, because everyone we let into our lives are a projection of what is within us, and they all came in and go, right at the moment they were meant to. The trick is to see the message that they had for us, and only by giving up the victim mentality, a looking within to discover why we are hell bent on holding onto the victim mentality, will you ever have a chance of discovering that message. The fantasy of someone coming along to rescue you, does not a lasting, healthy relationship, or fulfilling life make.
Trying to change your life without doing the inner work, is like convincing yourself that a merry-go-round has a destination. Angelo Hunt
One of the key ingredients for a good relationship is a good solid foundation, and in order to have a good solid foundation to our relationships, we have to have a good solid foundation under ourselves, and in order to create a solid foundation underneath ourselves, we must first get to truly know ourselves.
How are we partners with the paths that we end up taking that seems to be so contrary to the desires of our hearts? Are we victims? Or are we willing participants in our outcomes, from beginning to end? Angelo Hunt
Your life and relationship mistakes are not happening to you, you are creating them every step of the way.