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Honesty and Vulnerability the Key to Intimacy

One of the main factors of having and keeping a good relationship is being able to trust, and have good communication. In order for others to trust us, we have to be able to become vulnerable, and show our vulnerability. Honesty and vulnerability go hand in hand. You cannot be totally, and genuinely truthful with another, without opening up fully to them.[...]

Looking For Love In All The Wrong Places

We are conceived through a connection, of the deepest kind, between a man and a woman, and from the moment that we are conceived, we are connected to our Mother in her womb. When that physical connection we began with is separated at birth, we spend our lives desiring to be connected again. How we go about, and how well we succeed, at re-creating that connection…becomes the story of our lives.[...]

"Puppet On A String" Who Is Controlling Your Strings?

I was raised in a family of givers, and caretakers, and the old fashion way, where the women wait on the men, and take care of the home, but in the world of relationships, that tenancy and upbringing, if taken too far, can get me into a whole lot of trouble with men, and ultimately be the downfall of any relationship. There is a fine line between caring for someone and allowing yourself to be a “puppet on a string”. When you spend all of your time trying to please another person, at your own expense; they will see you as weak, possessive and clingy.[...]

Have You Seen My Rose Colored Glasses?"

I was reading an article by Zara Stevens, and it hit on something that has been on my mind a lot these past few years. "You no longer make me happy anymore." I heard this statement a lot at the end of my last relationship; that had started out with the most profound happiness that I could ever imagine. Both of us were filled with dreams that we were working to create together, along with supporting each other's individual dreams. But then there came that "crack", as Zara put it. I think that so many times part of the problem lies in the fact; that we meet someone, and they begin to bring so very much happiness into our lives, that each of you creates this perfect picture in your mind, about what a wonderful,[...]

Monday, March 16, 2009

Little Girls Grow Up With Their Dreams

which-mask-do-you-chooseWe play with Barbie’s and Ken as children, which supplies us with lifelike dolls that we can live out our dreams and fantasies through, and we grow up with fairy tales, where the handsome Prince comes and saves the sweet, loving damsel from those that are evil, and want to destroy her, and her goodness. Then we grow up, and we hold on to those dreams and fantasies, waiting for our Prince to come, and magically kiss away all the badness in our lives, so we can ride off to his castle, or into the sunset, and live happily ever after.

Then we grow up, and even though we logically know that those fairytales are never going to come true, at least not as flawlessly as they were imagined, we still hold onto those dreams and illusions in our hearts.

So few of us find anything close to those dreams in our relationships. Some of us pop from one relationship to the other, because the person can’t live up to the fantasy that we have created for ourselves, and we don’t want to feel we are settling. Others of us, go from one emotionally unavailable, and commitment phobic, or abusive man to another, leaving a long dusty trail of heartache that continues to pile up the emotional baggage on our soul.

All through it all, we hold on to some belief that somehow we made a wrong turn, and headed down the wrong path, when in actuality, out of all the endless possibilities, that was the exact turn we meant to make all along. If there was not a lesson, which would lead us to growth, we would not have made the mistake to begin with. But each day brings a new beginning, and we can always change routes, and make a different turn, anytime we choose.

The optical illusion of consciousness is something we all should be aware of, either with ourselves and others, and understand that our realities, becomes a reflection of our illusions. Marc Collins

So one thing that we must always remember is that these people and relationships came into our lives to teach us about ourselves, because everyone we let into our lives are a projection of what is within us, and they all came in and go, right at the moment they were meant to. The trick is to see the message that they had for us, and only by giving up the victim mentality, a looking within to discover why we are hell bent on holding onto the victim mentality, will you ever have a chance of discovering that message. The fantasy of someone coming along to rescue you, does not a lasting, healthy relationship, or fulfilling life make.

Trying to change your life without doing the inner work, is like convincing yourself that a merry-go-round has a destination. Angelo Hunt

One of the key ingredients for a good relationship is a good solid foundation, and in order to have a good solid foundation to our relationships, we have to have a good solid foundation under ourselves, and in order to create a solid foundation underneath ourselves, we must first get to truly know ourselves.

Ask Yourself:

How are we partners with the paths that we end up taking that seems to be so contrary to the desires of our hearts? Are we victims? Or are we willing participants in our outcomes, from beginning to end? Angelo Hunt

Your life and relationship mistakes are not happening to you, you are creating them every step of the way.
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3 Love note(s):

tinque said...

The universe is infinitely patient. She will hand us our lessons over and over again until we "get it" or not.
The fantasy is possible albeit in a reality altered form if one is willing to dig deeply inside, let go of the stuff that does not serve us, release as many of our fears as we can, and learn to love and embrace ourselves that we may love and embrace another, warts and all.
hugs, tinque

Tee aka The Diva's Thoughts said...

This is an excellent post!!!

E101 said...

This is so true; kind of like how negative people attract negative people in their lives. It's all about projecting the right energy into the world, and it took me years to learn that.

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