It all started the day you sat so innocently down beside me. You were out to check out a new place. All alone, just like me. I had seen you walk in before. Your essence captured my attention! I kept about my own business, and denied the attraction.
That day you came in and sat right beside me. You struck up a simple innocent conversation. It was simple; but I remember every gesture…every expression. But I should not feel this. I’m just trying to figure out who I am, all alone in this world.
Who is this person that I look at each morning in the mirror?
Who is she, as she stands all alone?
Now that there is no one here any longer to tell her how to feel…how to think…what to hear…
Who is this woman that feels so much like a child?
What does she think?
What does she feel?
What are her own emotions?
I was frightened and you took my hand, and told me that we would lead the way together. Hand in hand we would face the world…conquer our fears.
You looked on life, in my eyes, with a smile…with playfulness…so childlike, yet so very endearing, and so very masculine. I saw in you, the part of me that I had tucked so neatly and tidily away. The part of me that I had forgotten, and you brought that woman back out in me again.
I started to believe again...
The walls started to crumble...
The fears started to subside...
I started to find trust again...
I started to feel secure again...
I started to feel safe again...
I was taking baby steps... learning to walk and live once again.
I felt Hope! I felt Alive!
Those nights staring into the fire.
Dancing in the rain while watching the sun disappear beneath the water, the sky bursting in a blaze of glory, as it said goodnight to the day.
I was so very...very scared.
So ready to bolt at any given notice.
Any sign that I might be wrong.
And I hurt you because I didn't trust you; completely...totally...without question.
I was learning! You were teaching me.
But...you grew impatient, and I lost it all.
But where did the sparkle go that I once saw in your eyes? You grew so tired...like me...it disappeared.
Did I do that to you? Was it ever there?
Was it yet another lie in a world made up of lies?
Was I a fool...to believe?