I was reading a woman’s article on how her ex-husband had, in one night shattered her prior existence forever, and how it had been replaced with someone who was riddled in fear. She went on to talk about how people kept telling her that she needed to move on; and how hard it was. That they needed to understand that she was a victim, and had the right to distrust people. The rest of the article continued to dwell on being a victim. She even spoke of how a year later, she picked up the wristband that they put on you arm in the hospital; that she had kept like a cherished keepsake, like a badge of honor and reminder…as if she was afraid that she might forget, that night of terror. <
My comment to her article touched on how, until she was able to release her own guilt, whether it was justifiable or not, and forgive herself, she would never be able to take any part of her life back. Take it from someone who knows, things will only go up, from that point forward.
We can not forgive others and heal our own hearts and minds, until we are able to release our own guilt, and forgive ourselves. It’s the hardest part…but until we do, we will never be in control of our lives and behavior. It will control us.
Until this woman does this, she will always be a victim. Not from the person that almost took her life, and put the lives of her children in danger; that is in the past…dead and gone. That day will never come back again…only in her own mind…and she will always be a victim of her
The article caused me to reflect on how we so desperately hold on to the misgivings in our lives. How we insist on giving our power away to others, who have wronged us, and who we have allowed to destroy our trust in others; as well as the trust we have in ourselves. Why is it that we seem to take so much pride in being a victim…seeking and searching, in all the dark cracks and crevices for sympathy?
The saddest part of all is, that we all know deep down in our hearts, that most everyone; in some aspect, or at some point…relish in the misgivings of others; so that they themselves, can feel better about themselves. Why is it then; that we insist on giving them that glory? Why is it that we persist in allowing others, to drain us of our power to feed their own, and to rob us of our own happiness?
Un-forgiveness of ourselves
Dis-respect for ourselves
That is the hardest part! And until we are willing to accept ourselves, in just the same way, as we so desperately long for others to do…we will continue to keep punishing ourselves.
We all have our own expectations; that we have set for ourselves…the person that we want to be inside; who upholds the values that we cherish so dear. When we don’t meet, or exceed, our own expectations…we don’t accept and forgive…us…for making mistakes.