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Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Alls Fair in Love and War

Love Games and the Unconscious Mind

I love reading a lot other people’s articles; they give me so much writing inspiration! I was reading an article by a woman that talked about the competitiveness and manipulation of dating. Love games.

In her article she stated that when she was 19 there was a man, or rather boy in my eyes, who worked in her office that had been in a four year relationship, and how that made her more interested in him, because the mindset of women in that age group, was to want to compete against other women. Girls (I’m going to use the term boys and girls here, because my mind just can’t conceive of using the term man and woman at this point) didn’t dress, or gather social status by collecting as many friends as they could, etc., to impress men; it was all done, strictly to compete with other women. WIN…that was the operative word.

She went on to describe how she put her plan into action to attract this boy with her eye contact, sly smiles, “accidental” brush ups against him, and how when he showed an interest in her, she slyly announced how inappropriate it was, due to his relationship, and would walk away, as if totally uninterested. Finally he asked her out stating that he was no longer in a relationship.

On the night of the date, she went so far as to buy herself a dozen roses, along with a card, that read how anxious the, so called other party, was to see her again, and strategically placed then in a conspicuous place. When the boy got there to pick her up, she excused herself and went into her bedroom, and watched through mirrors to watch while he went over and read the card. Then he miraculously changed the date plan from dinner and a movie, to a night much more glamorous and exciting, and then at the end; he had wanted more from their relationship.

She had WON, and that was what the whole game she plotted was all about. She didn’t bother to explain where the story went, or ended from there. It really didn’t matter, because she had now won, and had accomplished what she set out to do.

I have run up across this woman, although she went to much more cunning and manipulative tactics, before she was done…and she also won. In my case, the man and I were beginning the rest of our lives together. We hit some major boulders in the road, and she was waiting, and watching for just such an occasion to occur, and made sure up to that point; that he was fully aware she was interested and available for his every desire.

She never would not have been able to play out her plan without his full consent, and cooperation, however…there always has to be two, to make it work. He wanted to make me jealous, and since he already had a willing participant, waiting and ready, to spring into action at the slightest sign…he decided to use her. Unfortunately, for him and I, the game he was playing only drove me, bit by bit, further and further…away. The further I pulled away…the more desperate he became. She played us both to the hilt, however, fully aware of what she was doing at every turn. We…all three, allowed her to bring him and I, excruciating pain.

In my eyes, if he wanted her so badly, he needed to take her, and go on their merry little way, because they deserved each other, and were two of a kind. If he was the man he claimed to be, and wanted full commitment from me, and to spend the rest of his life with me…as he claimed…this other woman should never, have been allowed into our lives. He should have protected me and the relationship from her. The whole sordid game…hurt him and me tremendously! Emotions can cause you to behave in the most horrendous of ways.

She won, in the end. He and I, turned our backs on each other, and walked away…him, straight into her home. The game didn’t even stop there; but the rest of the story isn’t the point of this article.

She wasn’t in it for the love. She was in it for the competition, and the game of winning. And for the record…he just turned 50 and I am forty something, so this is not just a game that is played by the younger people. These games seem to go on until the end of time. I can only imagine what great power she must have felt, as he and I left each other and our home, allowing it, and one of the vehicles, to go back to the bank.

Their relationship, of course, did not last long. It was built on a foundation of lies, and manipulation…and never had a chance!

I have done a lot of research on the subconscious mind and how it works, and why these types of tricks and manipulations succeed…and they do…for a time. There are web sites, mostly for men that teach men how to behave, and phrase their words and actions…to bait their hook, and reel a woman, unsuspectingly, into their control. It all revolves around the concept of supply and demand. How it is human nature to want what we cannot have; and how much more we value something when someone else wants it, or has it. Think for a moment, about how much a child wants that toy at Christmas time. The one that there are only a few of, and how parents will run from store to store in desperate search for that toy…and actually get into fist fights, to grab one of the last remaining ones on the shelf.

Sounds absurd doesn’t it…but true.

Alls Fair in Love and War.

Yes…I suppose that’s true…but at what price?

For more information on how these tactics are achieved:

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