Popular Articles - CLICK ON TAB (1-4) TO STOP ROTATION

Honesty and Vulnerability the Key to Intimacy

One of the main factors of having and keeping a good relationship is being able to trust, and have good communication. In order for others to trust us, we have to be able to become vulnerable, and show our vulnerability. Honesty and vulnerability go hand in hand. You cannot be totally, and genuinely truthful with another, without opening up fully to them.[...]

Looking For Love In All The Wrong Places

We are conceived through a connection, of the deepest kind, between a man and a woman, and from the moment that we are conceived, we are connected to our Mother in her womb. When that physical connection we began with is separated at birth, we spend our lives desiring to be connected again. How we go about, and how well we succeed, at re-creating that connection…becomes the story of our lives.[...]

"Puppet On A String" Who Is Controlling Your Strings?

I was raised in a family of givers, and caretakers, and the old fashion way, where the women wait on the men, and take care of the home, but in the world of relationships, that tenancy and upbringing, if taken too far, can get me into a whole lot of trouble with men, and ultimately be the downfall of any relationship. There is a fine line between caring for someone and allowing yourself to be a “puppet on a string”. When you spend all of your time trying to please another person, at your own expense; they will see you as weak, possessive and clingy.[...]

Have You Seen My Rose Colored Glasses?"

I was reading an article by Zara Stevens, and it hit on something that has been on my mind a lot these past few years. "You no longer make me happy anymore." I heard this statement a lot at the end of my last relationship; that had started out with the most profound happiness that I could ever imagine. Both of us were filled with dreams that we were working to create together, along with supporting each other's individual dreams. But then there came that "crack", as Zara put it. I think that so many times part of the problem lies in the fact; that we meet someone, and they begin to bring so very much happiness into our lives, that each of you creates this perfect picture in your mind, about what a wonderful,[...]

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Female Bullies - When Women Get Down and Dirty

Competition Among Women

I know so many women anymore that have had their breasts enlarged. In fact the gap is quickly closing between the difference of those that have, and those that have not. I have not had this done, but if given the opportunity I probably would jump on it even though, other than makeup, I am not one that is into being “fake” in any way.

My significant other is an ass and leg man, and really isn’t concerned much with the size of a woman’ breasts at all, and he has asked me on several occasions why women would want to have their breasts enlarged. My answer has always been, “because men love them so much.” He always appears dumbfounded with that response, although I find that hard to understand considering men’s concerns over the size of their penis. It is a way of staying in the competition, and keeping someone else from having the upper hand.

In emotionally healthy individuals with a sound self-esteem, the purpose, in most cases, of competition between woman against woman and man against man, is to gain the recognition of the opposite sex, due to our primitive survival and procreation needs, and just plain due to the fact that we all want and need to be loved. Most all of us try to appear more appealing through our body image, grooming, etc., trying to be attractive to the opposite sexes sense of sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch, and social status is another major factor.

Women will resort to all sorts of measures to appear more attractive to a man.

When you have a low self-esteem coupled with jealousy and a few genetic influences, some other factors start getting thrown into the mix when a woman has chosen her target of competition, especially when they believe the other woman is more adequate than they are in the other areas. Women have a tendency to lean towards social aggression, by cunningly spreading gossip trying to get others to dislike someone, thereby attempting to socially exclude their target, as a means of achieving and maintaining social status, rather than the more aggressive means that men might use, partly due to cultural standards of femininity. The injured party is attacked evasively and the antagonist can consequently remain anonymous. After all, they don’t go out and just tell everybody. No, they go to their friends, first, and then…well you know. The little covert contest between winners and loses, and if others have power and you do not have power yourself, you look for it in others, and take it away from the other person by discrediting them.

In the constantly changing conditions of allegiances, people will always be looking for an advantage, which leaves others at a disadvantage. All of us use information to form valuable alliances with the hope we can gain some stability, and in the ideal scenario, the upper hand, in regards to our status in the social hierarchy. We spread information that is damaging to the other's reputation and so diminish his or her social standing. But the act of damning someone else’s reputation is also an act of self-promotion. You cannot credibly accuse a rival of actions that you engage in yourself, although I have come across of few that do. The funny part of it is, usually the gossiper has convinced themselves that they are on some higher moral ground, as they look down on their victim.

This behavior stems from the perpetrator believing that their victim has some sort of superiority over them. They would hold indifference toward the other party otherwise. But they feel threatened by them in some way, so it becomes imperative that they knock the unsuspecting party down a notch or two.

But the behavior has also existed since the beginning of mankind, and in other primates, a similar behavior is found where the female species is known to interrupt resting, feeding, and mating, to harass their competitors, which results in stress levels in the target female, that lowers their prospects of becoming successful breeders. These stigmatizing and excluding strategies can have devastating effects on the victim. In human relationships, the stress caused by this behavior is known to cause the target to act irrationally, at times, which also serves to diminish her attractiveness. Sly little devils, aren’t we.

Modern medical imaging techniques have recently demonstrated that the pain of social exclusion arises, in part, from the same brain regions that report physical pain, and, in animal experiments, opioid pain reducers, like morphine, and increased levels of the brain’s own the pain-blocking endorphins, also blunted the pain of social loss. Panksepp, J, Feeling the Pain of Social Loss, in Science, vol. 302, pp. 237-239. 10 October 2003, available at www.sciencemag.org, accessed 12/6/2004

Oddly enough, studies have shown that men also fall prey to displaying this type of behavior, as they get older and less aggressive in their actions. Logic would tell us that as you become more mature with age that you would grow out of these sorts of tendencies, but that is not at all the case. The human need for status and recognition appears to be far too great.

Females aren’t totally exempt from the more aggressive behavior either. They too will come to blows under certain circumstances, but according to studies it usually happens among the lower income status groups, where the fight for the high-quality men that are the best providers, and are willing to invest their resources in the women and their children, in that group becomes slimmer.

Sugar and spice

And everything nice

That’s what girls are made of.

But you had better watch your back.

Harper Valley PTA

Related articles:

Into the Vortex - An Innocent Mistake
Alls Fair in Love and War

Reblog this post [with Zemanta]

Related Posts by Categories

Widget by Hoctro | Jack Book

2 Love note(s):

G8rBryan said...

I enjoyed reading your post. You have a great talent for writing. I hope your week is going well.

Praveena said...

Your post is interesting to read and not only me all the women should think like you so that they can go fast than men.Thank you.


Post a Comment

Thank your for leaving your hand print behind.

SPAM will not be tolerated on this site and your comments will be deleted.

© Copyright by Open Your Heart to the Love  |  Template by Blogspot tutorial