The Romantic Gaze and It's Seductive Spell

One of the most powerful forms of communication is eye contact; whether you are looking deep into your lover's eyes, glancing alluringly, using an intimidating hostile stare, or the loudest look of all, no eye contact at all. Many times we are unaware of what we are conveying to others through our eyes, and of what others see, because much of it is given and received unconsciously. Sales professionals, politicians, and good public speakers, even actors and actresses, all study this very thing, knowing all to well the power they lays within the eyes. Look at the two boxers that stare each other down when they meet in the middle of the ring, before a match, or the gaze of two lovers in a romantic movie. How many times when you were in school, and the teacher was seeking someone to call on for an answer to a question you did not know, you looked away, in hopes that if you didn't look at him, he wouldn't call on you?

It has been proven that it is human nature to like those that like us. Eckhard Hess, a biopsychologist of the University of Chicago discovered, when we see something, or someone that we like, or we are aroused, our pupils will dilate, and whether we catch this consciously or not, we do pick up on this subconsciously. One of the reasons that guy or gal looks so attractive in the bar, isn't just because you have been drinking all those drinks, although it does lower your inhibitions, part of it has to do with their eyes being dilated in the dim lights. In Renaissance Italy, the women knew this fact well, and would use an extract from the Belladonna plant to make their pupils dilate. This is a dangerous and poisonous plant, so please do not try this. In fact, it is said that the potion that Juliet used in "Romeo and Juliet" was derived from this plant. Having a candlelight dinner is a much more romantic way to achieve this subconscious signal.

But that's not all we see...

"Rubin's Scale," which psychologists use during counseling, to gage how much affection couples feel for one another, originated from a study performed by Zick Rubin, a Harvard psychologist, who wanted to measure love scientifically, and set out to record the amount of time lovers spent staring at each other. In a normal conversation, people will look at each 30 to 60 percent of the time However, in his study; he discovered that when couples were deeply in love with one another, and were having a conversation, they would look at each other 75 percent of the time. If someone intruded on their conversation, they were slower to look away, than was the case in a normal conversation.

Scientists have also conducted studies where they showed the participants sets of two photos of women where one of the photos in each set had been manipulated to increase the size of the pupils. The participants were asked which photo they felt was more attractive. They conducted the opposite test on women, with the same effect. The photos with the enlarged pupils were perceived as being more attractive to the participants.

Some of the seduction guru's teach the concept to their "pupils", (okay, pun intended) as a way to gain a woman's trust and love, and also used in different sexual teachings as well as some lover's games, as a means of creating an intimate bond between two lovers. When a couple looks at each for this extended length of time, the brain begins to release phenylethylamine (PEA), which is secreted by the nervous system when we first fall in love. PEA is responsible for the "Za Za Zoo", as Carrie from "Sex and the City" used, to describe the butterflies we feel in our stomach, our sweaty palms, and racing hearts.

To make your pupils dilate even more you can try this: as you are staring at your partner imagine yourself going inside their body and your two souls making love. You are trying to touch their very soul. This will release adrenalin and make your pupils dilate even more. Steven Aitchison

The language of the eyes, and more specifically the pupils, is so important that there is a specialized field called Pupillometrics. Those that study, and put their knowledge to use, know all too well that they are the ones that get the attention, and best service to their pursuits. The message that the one gets that is being looked at, is one of acknowledgment, attention, and connection, when used in the right context. It not only can initiate the feelings of love, but can also be used very strongly as an intimidation, and studies have also shown that we use it unconsciously during conversations as a means of indicating interest, and whose turn it is to talk.I will write about this subject some more in my blog "Valley of the Subconscious", but since this is my blog about love, I will leave you with the spell of the romantic gaze, and it's implications. Don't underestimate the power of your eyes.

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